The Towel Suit

I was thinking about Jim Gaffigan this morning and his bit about the person who invented the robe. Some guy who just comes out and says, “Hey I got an idea! Let’s make a coat out of a towel!” I was wishing for anything that resembled a towel because though I thought of everything to bring here on my one year mission, and I packed a years-worth of everything, I failed to bring towels. To my credit, I was told that “linens” would be provided, but apparently towels are not considered linens. They are different. Not provided.

So my solution to this problem is going to drive me to greatness. I think it is going to be a hit sensation. Much like the snuggie.

I did bring big baggy sweat pants and a large sweatshirt with a hood. I brought thick white socks. After staring at these things, I started to see the genius idea that could solve my problem – the Towel Suit (patent pending.) In a strange juxtaposition, after finishing my shower, I got dressed before getting dry, but by getting dressed, I got dry. I don’t know what else to say except that I can’t understand why my job in the US was outsourced – because I’m an ideas guy. I come up with the solutions that save real people real time.

Look for the Towel Suit at your local K-Mart or Walgreens. I think I’m going to get it picked up by a major fashion designer. The Lagerfeld super shammy Towel Suit. Wait and see.